#Dallas #ToughMudder Recap


Here we go again – race number 5 of 50! One tenth of the way to my goal of 50 before 50!

The Tough Mudder Dallas was a blast. Our team had all sorts of people – me with four Mudders under my belt, Ilya with two, Kim with one and a lot of newbies. Some of the newbies were people I hadn’t seen in four or five years, and some were people I had just met. It was such a good group of people. Every time I run a Mudder I’m reminded that while we start the race as individuals, we finish as a family! Now here we go with the race details!


The parking situation and directions were just as nice as Minnesota. We made it to our heat on time, and there weren’t any awkward corral areas where three different heats line up at a time. You walk through the gate to the start line, stop in a little warm-up area, then hop a wall to the starting line. Up to this point, Mr. Sean Corvelle has been the emcee at all my Mudders. There is really no one like him! This charismatic gentleman with his dreads and gravelly voice gets the crowd involved, he motivates, he inspires, he excites – not just the Mudders, but the staff and volunteers as well. He is the embodiment of a Dragon. I’ll keep running these if just to hang out with him for five minutes before a race.

The Course! (Total Length 11 miles)

*Writer’s Note – While I will briefly talk about all the obstacles, if it’s one that was covered in the Minnesota Recap, I’ll link you over there.

The course began with the usual Kiss of Mud, getting everyone down and dirty right from the get go! After crawling through the mucky muck, we had to scale the Glory Blades, or race_420_photo_11048224angled walls. Then there is everyone’s favorite….the ARCTIC ENEMA! I mean I love jumping into a giant pool of ice water as much as the next guy, but I wonder every time, HOLY BLANKETY BLANK! Why in the blankety blank do I keep doing these things?!

Next we repelled down the side of a cliff at Abseil, waded through a small lake on one side, then back across and had to scale a cargo net up the side of the same cliff. It was a lot of fun and makes you feel like a down and dirty spider monkey.

After monkeying around, we met the Warrior Carry and Balls to the Wall. As I spoken about those before, I will briefly mention that Kim didn’t attempt Balls in the Arizona Mudder. In this race, she made it up the first rung until a leg cramp took her off the wall. That, ladies and gentlemen, proves an inspirational point: as long as you go one step further than you did yesterday, you will traverse miles!

Beth was also an inspiration. This girl is afraid of heights like nobody’s business. She climbed and she climbed and she clung for dear life and made it up and over! The crowd got so invested in her efforts that when she made it to the top the 40 or so people watching burst into applause. Her face lit up and that moment proves another inspirational point: there are few limits to what you can accomplish when you are supported by your friends and new Mudder family members.

For more monkeying around, we conquered the Funky Monkey. Kim took it to the next race_420_photo_11076132level again. In Arizona, she got to the second monkey bar and then took a nice ice bath. She took it to Dallas, making it over halfway before losing grip and dropping into the muck below. I have the upmost confidence that when Arizona Mudder 2015 comes around, she’ll get all the way across. (Speaking of Arizona Mudder 2015, if you’re interested, sign up here because we would LOVE to run with you: Group Name, “Dumbbells and Dragons”)

Next we hit the Berlin Walls, Quagmire, Pole Dancer and Mud Mile. We beasted those 11 foot walls and mud pits. I made sure everyone got over at least one wall by making myself a human ladder, allowing teammates to step on my thighs then shoulders to boost over. We got a break by going through the Underwater Tunnels…which is literally just being in water and going under a series of empty barrels. We spent some time on Mud Mile in this thick gray sludge that was four feet deep and the walls stretched above us by 3 feet. It was almost impossible to get out of each pit by yourself. Really awesome seeing complete strangers offer and accept helping hands. Please see previous comment about accomplishment and support. 🙂

Devil’s Beard, Bale Bonds, Trench Warfare, and Walk the Plank didn’t serve any challenge, except to Beth who has a hay allergy…she skipped Bale Bonds, which was a series of 5 foot tall hay bales. Kim was super excited because she finally got to do the Plank – she had a leg cramp in Arizona.

Just before the Legionnaire Loop was Lumberjacked and Everest. Lumberjacked is a log raised about six feet in the air….getting over it without help was impossible for me and the homies had to help me up and over…what can I say? I get by with a little help from my friends.

The Legionnaire Loop had some really cool obstacles including Funkier Monkey and TurDuckEn. Funkier Monkey was AWESOME! Instead of monkey bars, there is a pipe you have to shimmy across, then a ring you have to grab and swing to ANOTHER pipe. It was awesome and so much fun!

TurDuckEn was just as wonderful. We climbed up a mud hill into a large pipe. The pipe was slick that we slid down and upon the exit was a five foot drop into a water pit! Then we climbed up a steep, slippery tarp, slid down into another water pit! The water pit was five feet deep and we had to jump OVER three large barrels! This was so hard that someone had to stay on the barrel to help people over. It was nice to be cleaned off in the water before hitting Electroshock Therapy.race_420_photo_11056079

Electroshock Therapy – Legionnaires have the option to skip it, but will I? NEVER. 10k volts. It hurts. Every time. ‘Nuff said.

Hope you enjoyed the recap. Stay tuned for the Tough Mudder North Carolina, Spartan South Carolina and ROC Race Recaps coming soon!

Thinking about running with us? Drop me a line, post a comment, email me, hit us up on FB, Twitter or Insta.

Until next time, #WorkOutNerdOut.



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